It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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