...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
