Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
