The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
