hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
