I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
