In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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