Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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