Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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