you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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