Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
