We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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