Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
