You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Randomize
