Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
