The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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