ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
In America we eat man semen.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
