he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
