What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
