I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
bring money and cleavage
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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