I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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