Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
