you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
