Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
