"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
