big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
