im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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