5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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