Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
