If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
People in love make me want to vomit
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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