I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
