The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
