I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
