Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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