yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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