I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
