I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
