i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
