I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
