hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
