I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
