Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
