i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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