And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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