i just google imaged poop.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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