If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
