Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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