His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
