If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
