I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
